Dear Diary, I am…being fired.

Thank goodness, not from my full-time job. I couldn’t afford that. But I was fired from my nanny job. I am so angry. Let me tell you! The mom waited for the dad to return home from his business trip. Then without telling me anything, she took the kids out to a restaurant. The kids, MY kids, that I had so many memories with—my fuzzy socks that brought them so much excitement, the boyfriend that the little boy was going to find for me, the countless hours I spent teaching the little girl math. They were being taken away from me, and I didn’t even know it yet. She took them away, and I didn’t even get to say goodbye!

The dad sat at the table, writing my check, asking me if I had a moment to talk. He talked about how he loved my work, how I had made so much headway with the little girl’s math, how I got along so well with the little boy, but yet, how it was not working out. I knew why. My personality clashed with the mom’s. He could have said his wife was firing me, but he didn’t. I took the check, not saying much, thanking him for his time, but I sat in my car with angry tears. How dare that mom! She had no right to fire me. It was her fault I was sitting there in my car with tears streaming down my cheeks.

I drove home, ate dinner, and sat there thinking more about what had happened. And that’s when I realized. Although I still say it was the mother who fired me, it was my fault that I was feeling hurt and angry. It was me and my pride that said that I was irreplaceable to that family. And it was my pride that got hurt when I was fired. My pride was hurt, really, because I knew I was fired because I wasn’t good enough for her. I was hurt because I don’t want to be told by anyone that I’m not good enough for them.

Sometimes, I think that it is important for our pride to be wounded once and a while. It’s important for us to realize that we aren’t as great as we seem. Yes, we should take pride in what we do, and we should love ourselves as we are. But sometimes, just sometimes, we might think too highly of ourselves, and that might affect our relationships with our coworkers or loved ones.

The Bible says, “Pride comes before a fall.” And I was prideful. I thought, “This mom needs me. She shouldn’t treat me like she does.” When in reality, she didn’t need me. And I needed to see that. So dear diary, I was fired, but it wasn’t the end of the world. In fact, it’s a learning experience. Hopefully now, I will realize that I want to MAKE myself irreplaceable, not THINK of myself as irreplaceable.

I’m still sorry that little boy won’t be looking for a boyfriend for me though. But who knows, maybe I needed this experience before I would be successful in a relationship anyway.

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